Why am I persisting in a difficult relationship when being single is simpler?
Did you just notice what happened to your head? Instant confusion. “I don’t know”. “I need to think about it”. “Why am I doing this again?”
The next step is to dwell on our unfortunate situation. Analysis is required to work through the endless list of other things we could be doing.
Something else happened when you try to resolve these types of questions. You probably stopped focusing on what you’re doing right now. Your attention split between what you are doing (relevant because you’re doing it) and what you’d rather be doing (probably irrelevant).
If you are even aware of it, you maybe tell yourself “I don’t want to think about this”. But why don’t you want to think about what other things you could be doing? Especially, when other things you could be doing seem so tempting.
Unhappy thoughts leaves fingerprints all over our lives. A life resigned to being unhappy in our situation. A life filled with wondering what is happening in the lives of others, which always seems more interesting. Feeling stuck.
Unhappy thoughts leads to restlessness. Thinking about what else you could be doing leads to other things that you could be doing, which in turn leads to more thoughts… Just thoughts, thoughts and more thoughts. A life filled with unhappy thoughts.
Doesn’t dreaming help create new possibilities? Isn’t daydreaming a sign of creativity? Not if the thoughts don’t lead us anywhere.
Is what you are doing leading you into your destiny?
If the answer to the question is “yes”, then it really does not make a difference whether this is something you want to do or not. What you are doing now is intensely meaningful.
If the answer to the question is “no”, the path forward involves acknowledging that I made a wrong decision at some point. If my decision was wrong then there is no point in denying it by blaming the situations or people in my life. God didn’t force me to do this. It wasn’t other people. It wasn’t my situation (most of the time anyway). It was me.
My expectations may have been wrong. I may have been wrong about how the world works. I may have been wrong about my alternatives. I may even have been wrong about my own destiny. When you identify your decisions as the culprit for where you are now, the internal world becomes eerily silent.
Anyone can be wrong. Anyone can make mistakes. If the decisions I made got me into this situation, then I can make other decisions that will lead me closer to my destiny.