A while back I started a new job at an investment bank in Singapore. I realized quickly that I was going to have a major personality clash with my new boss.
Just 2 months into my new job, the stress began to really weigh me down. The fatigue and anxiety created a destructive circle. I felt constantly tired and mentally fatigued. My mind was barraged by a whole number of fears like:
– Will I be able to get another job in the industry?
Even after a whole weekend of relaxing and exercising I was still tired and arrived at work feeling drained on Monday morning. I was filling up with self doubt and my health was waning.
I ended up being let go before my 3 months probation was up, for the first time in my career. This created a breaking point. A point at which I had enough impetus to change the way I had always done things. I was able to do something that I had previously felt unable to do – write a book, start a business and travel.
However, this is not the complete story. For the previous eight years in Singapore I had experienced gradual change every day. It started by joining Joseph Prince’s church in Singapore. I learned about grace and rest in ways that the Western style of Christianity that I had heard since childhood had never talked about. When I went to church growing up the main focus was on sin and doing good works. Reading the bible truthfully changed the way I saw how Jesus’ perfect sacrifice has liberated us as Christians.
After that I grew as a Christian with the Engaging God program offered by Pastor Mike Parsons and Freedom Church (https://freedomarc.org/). Suddenly I was able to enter God’s Kingdom in the heavenly realm. I had been told that it existed and now I was experiencing it for myself. My Christian experience became real. I was separately experiencing the Holy Spirit, Jesus and God the Father. I was walking in a flow of power that I had never experienced before.
This gradual change over the previous eight years created a strong desire to work with God when my job did not work out like I expected. I knew that God was guiding me. I knew that His hand was on my life. I felt like He was leading me every day in my new journey.
Recently I have been getting some opposition from pockets of Christians who believe it is safer not to listen to God speak in case they are listening to other voices. I have seen this type of Christian from my childhood. My grandparents were missionaries and my parents were involved in conservative evangelical churches. While growing up I became disillusioned with the Church. Why? I found there was a complete disconnect between the miraculous God of the Bible and the strong messages preached every Sunday. There was a form of godliness, but no power. There was no real love for God. How can you love someone who is with you if you never speak with Him?
It is normally only when these same Christians experience the breaking points in their lives that they suddenly start asking the truly important question: is God simply an all knowing God or is He also communicating, loving Father who directs His children on earth with His Word?
Throughout my secular career I have worked with brash business people. Perhaps we crave to be independent. Maybe we think power and money will actually save us. Until we get retrenched. Until our business goes bankrupt. Now we look at ourselves in the mirror. Who do we see? Someone who is like a secular business man or woman? Someone simply walking around with a Bible in our hands? Somebody living on random Bible verses delivered by social media? Or, have we listened to God speaking every day so that we can have the confidence to change course with God when He asks us to?
The bottom line is not whether you believe in Jesus. It is whether you trust His leading. This means engaging God through your spirit. His sheep hear His voice. It is about working with God in small ways every day until you can trust Him to lead you at your breaking points. Today if you hear His voice, do not harden your heart. If you aren’t sure whether a message is from God, ask Him “God, is this message from you?”